Courage to tell

How do you tell someone you have cancer? Do you go over it ten times in your head on how to say it...or do you just say it? I have always wondered how my mom worked up the courage to tell me she had breast cancer. My mom and I are very close, so I can only imagine what she went through just to tell me.

That was a strange day for me. I was at my boyfriends house when mom called and said she wanted me to come home. When I got home, some neighbors were helping my dad put in the new stove. My mom told me to sit down, then she said "I have breast cancer." I didn't know what to say so we just cried. We hugged and cried in the living room while everyone else was in the kitchen. I don't know if they knew but it was awkward. We hugged for a while then I went upstairs. I didn't know what to do so I called my friend Jamie. I later went over to her house, which why would I do that? Why didn't I stay home and talk to my mom about all this? I was in high school at the time and just didn't know how to handle it. That was the first time she told me.

When she was re-diagnosed, my family was at our house when I got home from school. My grandparents, aunt Susie, and dad were all home. I knew something was up and then my mom told me it was back. My dad was beyond angry and was outside throwing the lawn furniture. I can't blame him for doing this because we thought we have to go through this once, not twice. I went downstairs and was trying to do laundry. Once again, why didn't I stay upstairs with my family. They were all crying, so it was okay for me to do the same. I was even more scared this time and i didn't want mom to know.

These memories are burned into my mind and I am sure into my families as well. You can't plan to tell someone you have cancer, it just has to happen. I learned a lot about myself on those two different days. I am now a stronger person because of it.